JOE SIX-PACK: Thank you. I’ll spend the rest of the afternoon watching football and drinking with my friends, Working-Class White, Nascar Dad, and Those Without College Degrees. I do not care for the gays.

LATTE-SIPPING CROWD: Excuse me, sir? I drive a hybrid automobile, so I don’t need gas at this time. However, I wish to purchase a fair-trade latte from your independent, locally owned business. In exchange, I’ll blog about this experience on my Mac.